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CHAPTER 3
Hello again my pretties! Welcome to chapter 3.
This chapter is entitled Phenomenon… uh… ok then. Shall we continue?
Bella Swan wakes up to see the light has changed. She pops out of bed with joy only to find it's snowing (not sure what she was hoping for… the second coming of Jesus perhaps?).
And as a bonus all the rain has frozen and now there is ice everywhere! Yay! (Actually ice and snow SUCK. I hate driving in it, as do most people who live where snow exists)
Our dear Bella babbles about how she shouldn't be so excited about seeing pretty boy Eddikins because he's SOOOOOO out of her league.
Her drive to school is uneventful. Apparently she's much better behind the wheel of a vehicle than she is on her own two feet. She spends the drive wondering why she's suddenly so special and noticed, and actually tries to rationalize her clumsiness as making her some sort of "damsel in distress"
… Really Bella? Really? Everyone in Forks loves you because you almost break your arm every time you get out of bed?
Bella finally gets to school and is all impressed with her driving skills until she gets out of the Monster Truck and notices her dad (Charlie) has very kindly put snow chains on her tires. Apparently this makes her get all choked up and she must stand around for a few minutes to compose herself (It's called medication Bella… I'm starting to think that would really help your situation.).
There is mention of Eddikins being about 4 cars away from her when suddenly; DESASTER STRIKES.
Our bad luck magnet has pulled the worst possible situation her way and now there is a VAN OF DOOM AND DEATH heading her way!
Just when we think all hope is lost (Of course we know nothing is going to happen to her, there's more than 500 pages in this book and we're only on chapter 3) something solid and cold SLAMS Bella's head against the concrete! Who can this be? Why it's our dear Eddikins! So he saves Bella from almost certain death (or at least breaking some important bones).
There is much screaming of her name while she and Eddikins hang out on the ground (Oh No! Our special snowflake!) and Bella tries to figure out where the fuck Eddikins came from.
Now the way he talks to her I assume he's trying to use some vampire Jedi mind-tricks on her (These aren't the droids your looking for…) but the Force is strong with this one and she stubbornly calls bullshit and this leads to very annoying bickering that you know isn't going to get anyone anywhere.
Eventually she's allowed to leave and walks into the waiting room (did I mention she was carted off to the hospital? No? Well know you know) only to find (Shock! Horror!) all the people that care about her waiting around to make sure she didn't, you know, DIE or anything unimportant.
Bella quickly turns to her dad and orders him to take her away from such unwanted attention, on the way home Charlie mentions Bella might want to call her mom and let her know she's ok. Bella of course freaks out over the fact that her father thought he'd let the mother of his child know she had almost become a pancake.
So Bella calls and is eventually able to calm her child- I mean mother down. After that she decides she's had enough excitement for one day (and is quite annoyed by Charlie watching over her in case she has some problems after smacking her head against the pavement and almost being run over) and decides to go to bed early.
And so ends Chapter 3.
Well not quite, because tonight is the first night she dreams of Eddikins (what kind of dream is it I wonder!? Oh I can hardly stand the suspense!).
Hello again my pretties! Welcome to chapter 3.
This chapter is entitled Phenomenon… uh… ok then. Shall we continue?
Bella Swan wakes up to see the light has changed. She pops out of bed with joy only to find it's snowing (not sure what she was hoping for… the second coming of Jesus perhaps?).
And as a bonus all the rain has frozen and now there is ice everywhere! Yay! (Actually ice and snow SUCK. I hate driving in it, as do most people who live where snow exists)
Our dear Bella babbles about how she shouldn't be so excited about seeing pretty boy Eddikins because he's SOOOOOO out of her league.
Her drive to school is uneventful. Apparently she's much better behind the wheel of a vehicle than she is on her own two feet. She spends the drive wondering why she's suddenly so special and noticed, and actually tries to rationalize her clumsiness as making her some sort of "damsel in distress"
… Really Bella? Really? Everyone in Forks loves you because you almost break your arm every time you get out of bed?
Bella finally gets to school and is all impressed with her driving skills until she gets out of the Monster Truck and notices her dad (Charlie) has very kindly put snow chains on her tires. Apparently this makes her get all choked up and she must stand around for a few minutes to compose herself (It's called medication Bella… I'm starting to think that would really help your situation.).
There is mention of Eddikins being about 4 cars away from her when suddenly; DESASTER STRIKES.
Our bad luck magnet has pulled the worst possible situation her way and now there is a VAN OF DOOM AND DEATH heading her way!
Just when we think all hope is lost (Of course we know nothing is going to happen to her, there's more than 500 pages in this book and we're only on chapter 3) something solid and cold SLAMS Bella's head against the concrete! Who can this be? Why it's our dear Eddikins! So he saves Bella from almost certain death (or at least breaking some important bones).
There is much screaming of her name while she and Eddikins hang out on the ground (Oh No! Our special snowflake!) and Bella tries to figure out where the fuck Eddikins came from.
Now the way he talks to her I assume he's trying to use some vampire Jedi mind-tricks on her (These aren't the droids your looking for…) but the Force is strong with this one and she stubbornly calls bullshit and this leads to very annoying bickering that you know isn't going to get anyone anywhere.
Eventually she's allowed to leave and walks into the waiting room (did I mention she was carted off to the hospital? No? Well know you know) only to find (Shock! Horror!) all the people that care about her waiting around to make sure she didn't, you know, DIE or anything unimportant.
Bella quickly turns to her dad and orders him to take her away from such unwanted attention, on the way home Charlie mentions Bella might want to call her mom and let her know she's ok. Bella of course freaks out over the fact that her father thought he'd let the mother of his child know she had almost become a pancake.
So Bella calls and is eventually able to calm her child- I mean mother down. After that she decides she's had enough excitement for one day (and is quite annoyed by Charlie watching over her in case she has some problems after smacking her head against the pavement and almost being run over) and decides to go to bed early.
And so ends Chapter 3.
Well not quite, because tonight is the first night she dreams of Eddikins (what kind of dream is it I wonder!? Oh I can hardly stand the suspense!).
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This had to have been the stupidest chapter in this fucking book... and this is only chapter 3 and not even 100 pages in!
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"Now the way he talks to her I assume he's trying to use some vampire Jedi mind-tricks on her (These aren't the droids your looking for…) but the Force is strong with this one and she stubbornly calls bullshit and this leads to very annoying bickering that you know isn't going to get anyone anywhere."
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